its love

It's friday night...

Sat, 11 Feb 2006 01:30:02 GMT

...and I'm sittin around drinkin a yoohoo.

Thu, 12 Jan 2006 20:23:40 GMT

It's one thing to be capricious and turn responsible but, you're never prepared to fall back in to your remiss ways. Doesn't feel very good at all. Your first instinct is always to try and just forget a problem but that will never help. I hate feeling like every time I spend 5 dollars... it's technically just 5 more dollars I'll be in debt. I've wanted so badly to start the job that I've comfortably been lead to believing I would have. I'm working at a place I actually hate more then calltech which I didn't think would happen. BUT I'M STICKING IT OUT. I even passed on a better paying job with more hours because I felt it would look better if I just stuck it out instead of bouncing around. I will turn my fucking life back around if its the only thing I accomplish this year. I will not have debts. I will be happy.

Envious.

Wed, 11 Jan 2006 20:32:35 GMT

I just don't think friends and insipid routines are enough to stop me anymore. The promise of a new begining is what I need, and may have found in a novel form. Good luck, Jeff.

January 7th, 2006 @ the Newport Music Hall

Sat, 07 Jan 2006 02:48:11 GMT

Capital Tragedy is BACK.

W/ special guests:
For The Drive
Noise Auction
Philo
Caption:
This Fires Embrace

We have a few tickets left at $7 a piece. Leave a message here or call for delivery options!

I know some of you don't particularly enjoy this style of music but it will be a very diverse night and it's in honor of Kent's birthday. I'd really like to see my friends out... espcially those of you I havn't seen in quite a while. So if you can read this message on your friends list... I'm talking to you.

well...

Mon, 28 Nov 2005 10:23:59 GMT

I've been pretty happy lately. I owe it to my friends.

I love you guys.

oh my, how the time went by.

Sun, 13 Nov 2005 05:48:54 GMT

so i guess its been awhile since i last updated... and im sure this will be a post with a lot of random thoughts... but here goes.

i like to think of myself as a nice person. i dont feel i cause much drama or let too many people down. if youre my friend then you can count on me. i really care more about my friends being happy than making myself happy. i think its because my friends mean the world to me and their happiness directly effects my happiness so somewhere in my mind its made up that as long as my friends are happy ill stay happy. im fair. im balanced. im somewhat of a perfectionist when it comes to something i like but i havnt seen that side of myself in awhile. im pretty unmotivated in life as a whole. i try to better myself but i cant. i tend to hide how i really feel, always have. ive realized thats a pretty big problem. all at once i opened up to everyone, let my guard down, and i feel all it really did was let anyone who felt like it come in... whether that was good/bad im not sure. im fairly popular. i have alot of friends but few i should actually call friends. either way, im lonely. this is mainly because A: the above mentioned problem of "hiding how i really feel" and B: the places/circumstances i meet women. ive loved, ive lost, and i think knowing how good it CAN be is what drives me most nuts. i want someone that i can make feel special. i want someone who asks me for help even if they could take care of it themselves. i want to be able to bring someone something as insignificant as a purple crayon yet they would treat it as if it were the most important thing ever. im living up to a stereotyped expectation of a 23 year old, G.E.D. recipient, emo kid. ive recently got back into music which i feel should be a highpoint of my life again. music for musics sake with one of my best friends. ive moved out of the apartment in dublin to a half double on summit. the new place is great and we will soon be having people over for euchre. (call me if you wanna come over. if you dont have my number i prolly dont want you coming anyway.) i appreciate a lot of the same things as everyone else. i like to get a phone call/text/instant message just to say hello. i like to be invited places, even if i cant/dont go. i like mail, even if i dont send you mail. call me if you want to brag about good news. call me if you want to bitch about something. call me if you want my opinion. call me if you just wanna tell me how to be a better friend. honestly, just typing all this out has already made me feel better and i think thats why i still have a live journal. i think ill just cut it off here before this gets too out of control.

quick update.

Thu, 20 Oct 2005 19:56:49 GMT

001: i quit calltech.
002: i was hired at the abercrombie warehouse.

003: my lease is up the end of november:
004: moving in with my homies kent and kevin then.

005: want to.
006: get hammered these next couple days.

007: life.
008: is pretty much awesome sometimes.

in case you didnt know....

Fri, 14 Oct 2005 02:55:17 GMT

so i almost hit a deer....

Sun, 02 Oct 2005 17:52:07 GMT

...no big deal right? it was just almost. well these deer were crossing sawmill at 3:32am when all the stores were closed. they definitely wernt shopping. so i ask you, what were these deer doing?

i think they were up to no good.

well damn.

Sun, 25 Sep 2005 03:24:56 GMT

shell was out of everything except the v power gas. they gave it to me at the cheap gas price. it really does make your car go VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM.

this is cute. yea, i said cute.

Wed, 31 Aug 2005 02:12:48 GMT

IF YOU READ THIS, no matter if we DO OR DON'T SPEAK OFTEN, reply with at least one memory of you and I. It can be anything you want, GOOD OR BAD, just as long as it HAPPENED. Then, post this and see, what other people remember about YOU....

update

Sat, 27 Aug 2005 06:39:46 GMT

aug25th: called off work, ran a couple errands, hung out with brandi all day, ate at thurman cafe, saw the wedding crashers, it was awesome, but i coughed alot.

aug26th: 2+ hours late for work because i felt like poo, work went by really quickly, i weigh 3-5 pounds away from my goal of 140 at all times, i would like hounddogs, but there isnt anyone to go with.

do itttttttttt

Thu, 25 Aug 2005 16:14:46 GMT

FIND OUT WHAT YOUR NAME MEANS :
http://www.bostonuk.com/names/default.asp

A: Jeff
Divinely peaceful : Norman / Teutonic

Sensitive and emotional you are highly intuitive and have a wonderful imagination. The instinctive impressions which you receive about people and situations are usually accurate and mean that you can rarely be misled. You have healing and counselling abilities which can help to alleviate the suffering of others. Your loyalty, integrity and belief in life means that you are much admired and assured of many friends.

B: Jeffery
Divinely peaceful : Norman / Teutonic

You are idealistic and have a keen intellect and imagination. Philosophical with a gentle, romantic and giving nature your desire is to help others and benefit mankind. You attract many friends and are loved by all for your nurturing and understanding ways. Once a project has been started your determination and focus always ensures that it is completed. You exude peace and contentment and bring this into your environment and associations.

this is your brain ((BRAIN)) - this is your brain on PACE. ((ROCK))

Sun, 21 Aug 2005 22:17:51 GMT

pace really is the best salsa, hands down.

the notebook made me tear up like a fag.

planters, lightly salted, are the best cashews.

jon tried to tell me, i didnt listen, now im in love with fall out boy.

i should have went to the just surrender show in akron because now their video is gonna be on fuse, they will be huge, and ill have to watch them from the back of the newport, i just know it.

how does the bled write such destructive parts without palm muting, i may never know.

fun time,

Sat, 20 Aug 2005 02:48:18 GMT

1. Go here.
2. Pass it on.

1.~How did you meet pirate_love? shows
2.~What would you do if you had never met agentaa7? taught one less person in training
3.~What do you honestly think of whisperedrumors? awesome
4.~Would or did capitaltragedy and nixonhadsoul go out? they still do, gaymo's :)
5.~Have you ever liked gunmetalgroove? always have love for jonni
6.~If heronlyvice died tomorrow, what is one thing that you would need him/her to know? i care
7.~Would kissingparadise and louisvchic make a good couple? yes!
8.~Describe medicatedqueen in 3 words: tan. purses. rockin.
9.~Do you think from_farewell is hot? of course
10.~Would heronlyvice and raski make a lovely couple? yea :)
11.~What do you think of when you see nixonhadsoul? huge breakdowns
12.~Tell me something humiliating about louisvchic: she has dogs bigger than her and they pull her into water once
13.~Do you know any of puzzledstars's family members? nope
14.~What's ammaeli's favorite color? purple
15.~On a scale of 1-10 how cute is sakurarosa? 13
16.~What would you do if landminespring just professed their undying love for you? beat the snot out of him :)
17.~What language does capitaltragedy speak? english, ebonics, and tronn
18.~Who is _____bombs going out with? johnny lunchbox
19.~Is vintageporn a boy or a girl? female
20.~Would simplywontdie and landminespring make a good couple? youd have to ask them
21.~Who do you think ammaeli would be great with from this list? great with? like friends? candi (medicatedqueen)
22.~When was the last time you talked to from_farewell? i think at stephanies
23.~What is gunmetalgroove's favorite band? deftones forever i think
24.~Does kissingparadise have any siblings? dunno?
25.~Would you ever date puzzledstars? not that i know of?
26.~Would you ever date medicatedqueen? not that i know of?
27.~Is ammaeli single? she's just a big player
28.~What is ammaeli's last name? keenan
29.~What is simplywontdie's middle name? bling
30~What is whisperedrumors's fantasy? not sure
31.~Where does vintageporn live? in the boonies
32.~Would you make out with pirate_love? grow the fro back and holla at me. j/k, really.
33.~Are agentaa7 and puzzledstars best friends? no
34.~Does medicatedqueen like ammaeli? doesnt know her. refer to question 21 though
35.~How did you meet simplywontdie? mutual friends
36.~Is from_farewell older than you? nope, he's a youngin
37.~Is raski the sexiest person alive? nope, but ya gotta love the accent (the animals are comfortable in february)

august 17th

Thu, 18 Aug 2005 03:29:50 GMT

1: im glad this day is almost over.

2: i can hide any emotion i have, hell half the time i cant show them if i tried.

3: you got more then you deserved you piece of shit.

Mon, 01 Aug 2005 04:37:56 GMT

10 years ago - i was 12 almost 13, skated everyday, and listened to korn religiously.

5 years ago - i was 17 almost 18, lost a best friend, just started my first real relationship and my first band.

1 year ago - I was 21 almost 22, had a kidney stone, parted ways with my last band and started a "real" job.

yesterday - i went out with kyle and kevin, got more drunk than i ever want to be again, had fun.

tomorrow - prolly calling off work, im headed out with my brother to find a car.

5 snacks I enjoy - brownie fudge sunday, triple chocolate utopia, special K bars, anything sour, pickles.

5 bands/artists that I know the lyrics to most of their songs - taking back sunday, the movielife, it dies today, capital tragedy, the used.

5 things I would do with a $100,000,000 - pay off my debts, pay off everyones debts, make sure financial burdon would be a thing of the past for anyone i cared about.

5 locations I would like to run away to - this is something i wish i new.

5 bad habits I have - procrastinating, buying things, not always displaying how i truely feel, relying on others, not giving everyday 110%.

5 things I like doing - being with friends, playing guitar, playing on the computer, going to concerts, buying things.

5 things I would never wear - eyeliner (excluding events where you dress up IE halloween), spongebob anything, leather pants, novelty t-shirts (think spencers), white jeans.

5 t.v. shows I like(d) - family guy, extreme makeover: home edition, x-files, CSI, law & order: SVU.

5 movies I like - batteries not included, back to the future(s), monsters inc, catch me if you can, stand by me.

5 famous people I would Like to meet - no idea.

5 biggest joys at the moment - neverending lawsuit has ended, playing music again for the first time in a year, my friends, my computer, going to look for a car starting tomorrow.

5 favorite toys - my computer, my bicycle, my guitar + gear, my awesome TV, did i mention my computer?

I tag:
- Kent
- Diana
- Dustin
- Amo
- Brad

everyone should humor me with this though.

with good news comes bad news?

Sat, 30 Jul 2005 06:52:59 GMT

my life is like a big fuckin roller coaster of emotion except it never stops to let me off. i cant predict anything anymore. who are my god damn friends? where are those simple moments in life like swinging on a swing? the only swinging ill be doing anytime soon is from the end of a pretty white rope tied neatly around my neck. JESUS CHRIST.

Fri, 29 Jul 2005 04:41:56 GMT

White out the memories
of each sarcastic shot you took at me
With your hurtful tones and biting melodies

Just one more outburst
and I'm leaving you like you left me one year ago
and I know that this could never be an apology from you

A meaning buried
under shuttered breathing
Its taking too long for me to spit it out

Tell me everything will be alright
Close your eyes and dream of me tonight
Tell me that you won't just fade away
Cross my heart and hope to die tonight I'll dream my pain away

I'll let the lack of words speak for me
the way I am I can't express or understand
I'll take the time now to make you see

so sometimes i like to write in livejournal

Wed, 20 Jul 2005 03:31:14 GMT

i have my own washer and dryer so no more renting them! appliance warehouse came to get the rented set today but i failed to leave permission with the leasing office for them to enter my apartment when i wasnt home. how dull is that... im excited i have a washer and dryer? im still trying to loose some tummy but it happens so slowly that i feel unmotivated. i WILL keep myself on track. so far, total, im down to 152 from 168. i feel my endurance is picking up because i can do more and not get as tired so quickly. hopefully i can stick to the plan and walk home from work almost everyday and then ride my bike when i get home. walking home from work should be easy seems how i dont have a car to drive anyway. i dont feel real social outside of work. i dont really have an appetite for much. i joined a band that is starting so promising. the video card in my super computer may be letting me down. over 10 people are online/not away according to my most recent poll via my buddy list.... and since ive taken my away message down noone has initiated conversation with me. im content with my b-jork.

Mon, 18 Jul 2005 04:41:32 GMT

i need a god damn car. some piece of shit that gets me from A to B.

i need a god damn drummer. some awesome fucker to gets us from song A to song B.

ill never make anything of myself that the majority of you guys would be proud of. i however will be happy.

i have so many thoughts, so many ideas, so many wants, and still so much dependancy on others.

update.

Wed, 13 Jul 2005 20:04:15 GMT

including today, there are 3 days untill im back on a regular work schedule. ive been training a class from 4:30pm - midnight and it SUCKS. no time to hang out with sarah, who i live with, let alone anyone else since theyre prolly on a "regular" schedule. i just got paid on the 8th and i swear im broke. i have no idea where this less than stellar check went. each month we pay 30 bucks to have a washer and dryer in the apartment... after this weekend they came come get em because ill have my own.. woowoooooo. i want to remodel but you cant in an apartment. i want to move away but i fear ill hate it. we'll see when my lease is up in december i guess. kyle came down and hooked me up with the 40 gigs of music i lost when my moms computer crashed. speaking of kyle.... he got fired and i want to go golfing again, it was great. kevin got my second bike a flat from running over a staple... need to fix that. i want to ride bikes, someone? anyone? but more then anything... i need to leave for work here in a second, goodbye daylight.

shit.

Fri, 01 Jul 2005 03:09:15 GMT

when did everyone stop hanging out, or is it just me? its SUMMER... last summer i was out everyday. this year i end up working and then staying in listening to copeland. im a turd. i bought a bike that i have riden once. im currently buying up rack gear and putting together a new rig. i have lowrider bike parts but was unmotivated to put them together after i broke a bolt i needed. ive been training new people at work... its fun. my roomate kevin is in my current class. i have a new awesome computer and im trying to get back into graphics/web design. im on somewhat of a diet. i try and eat healthy, have been drink a potent green tea, and try to jog/exercise. fuck it.. im riding my bike right now....

im back, its storming, im never gonna get to ride my bike. im going golfing, real golfing, for the first time ever monday with kyle. i have some new.. but really old.. pictures. see, i used a roll of film about 4-5 years ago, then somehow my mom used it again and it was double exposed, but never the less it was just developed and i have some new but very old pictures. whats awesome is i have a new picture of joe which pretty much ended up being the most clear picture out of the roll dispite being douible exposed. this i couldnt be more happy about.

call me friends id like to hang out.

Tue, 24 May 2005 03:43:29 GMT

im so content in my life right now. i have goals and i feel im doing a good job at analyzing them so that i can work twards them. at this point im financially stable as i need to be for a little while. im doing a good job keeping a positive outlook at my job and despite some negitive attitudes i like where its taking me. obviously i dont plan to work at calltech my whole life but i do enjoy learning new tasks within the company. work as also allowed me to rekindle a friendship that at one point i thought may have been completely lost. i went through a breif period in which i was very unsatisfied with how i look but im not gonna be down about something so easily changed. i really want to stay active. i need people to play tennis, basketball, frisbee, bike, walk, and jog with me. sarah does a good job at reassuring me that im awesome. ive lost contact with so many people i once called friends so ive created a new myspace page. im ready to start playing music again but this time as a hobby not a life. im currently contacting people to put something together. my main influences are the beautiful mistake, copeland, taking back sunday, the used, funeral for a friend, and underoath. i miss playing for fun. my first band, dismissed, was way fun. the new exciting chance to play with other musicians. isnotion, my first taste of learning guitar. art of falling, this was my favorite band i have had the pleasure to write music with. capital tragedy, undeniably the furthest i made it with a band. this was also a band that strenghthend some friendships and weakend others. ive grown and learned alot in the past year and im looking foward to the future. thank you all for the wonderfull year.

yea..

Mon, 23 May 2005 06:35:01 GMT

i came here to write a awesome update... but im tired and have to work at 9am. goodnight all.